NEW UNCONVENTIONAL TRAINING REVEALS THE SCIENCE AND ART Of:
"Turning NEW Email Subscribers Into Clients IN 7 Days "
By: Ortega Ogomigo
13 October, 2024
I turn to an invisible blackboard and start writing in large, dramatic letters: “THE ART OF THE UNCONVENTIONAL WELCOME SEQUENCE”
“Welcome to Copywriting 301: Advanced Wallet Extraction Techniques. I’m your professor, Dr. Ortega Ogomigo, and today we’re going to delve into the dark arts of email welcome sequences that actually work.”
I pause, surveying the ‘classroom’ with a raised eyebrow.
“Now, before we begin, I want you all to take out your phones.
Go on, don’t be shy.
Pull them out and open your email.
I want you to find the most recent welcome email you’ve received from joining a list.”
I wait, pacing back and forth with hands clasped behind my back.
“Got it?
Excellent.
Now, without looking at the sender, I bet I can tell you exactly what it says.
It probably starts with ‘Welcome to [Company Name]!’ followed by a tepid ‘We’re so glad you’re here!’
Then it drones on about how awesome they are, maybe throws in a weak attempt at a discount, and ends with a limp call to action like ‘Check out our products!'”
I make a show of yawning exaggeratedly.
“Boring, right? If your welcome email could talk, it’d sound like Ben Stein in ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’. Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?”
I erase the board with a flourish and write:
“RULE #1: SHOCK AND AWE”
“Your first email needs to hit them like a lightning bolt of pure personality.
It should make them sit up in their chair and go, ‘Well, this is different!’
Remember, in the vast sea of email mediocrity, being different is your life raft.”
I start scribbling furiously on the board, talking as I write.
“So, let’s break down the anatomy of an attention-grabbing first email:
Subject Line:
This is your first impression, your handshake, your opening line at a bar.
Make it count!
Instead of ‘Welcome to Our List’, try something like ‘Warning: This Email May Contain Traces of Awesome’ or ‘I Promise This Isn’t Another Boring Welcome Email (Okay, Maybe a Little)’.
Opening Line:
Forget ‘Dear Valued Subscriber’.
Hit them with something unexpected.
‘If you’re reading this, the mind control chips we’ve implanted are working perfectly.’
Or ‘Congratulations! You’ve just won a lifetime supply of… emails from me!’
The Hook:
This is where you reel them in. Tell a story, make a joke, ask a question.
Anything but the standard ‘Let me tell you about our company’ spiel.
The Twist:
Here’s where you transition from your hook to introducing yourself or your company.
But do it in a way that ties back to your opening.
If you started with a joke about mind control chips, maybe say something like, ‘Okay, full disclosure: we haven’t actually implanted any chips.
But now that I have your attention, let me tell you why you might actually want to stick around…’
The Value Bomb:
Drop something unexpectedly valuable in their lap.
A quick tip, a mini-guide, a hilarious anecdote that teaches them something.
Make them feel like they’ve already gotten their money’s worth (even though they haven’t paid you anything yet).
The Cliffhanger:
End with a teaser for what’s coming next.
‘In tomorrow’s email, I’ll reveal the one copywriting secret that made my client $50,000 in a single day. Hint: It involves a rubber chicken and a tub of mayonnaise.’
- The Engagement Trigger:
Ask them a question or give them a small task.
Get them to hit that reply button. ‘Hit reply and tell me the worst piece of writing advice you’ve ever received.
I’ll go first: My third-grade teacher told me I used too many adjectives. Clearly, I showed her!'”
I step back from the board, which is now covered in a chaotic mess of writing and diagrams.
“Now, here’s the kicker. This email? It’s not about selling. It’s not even really about you or your company. It’s about them. It’s about making a connection. It’s about standing out in their inbox like a peacock at a penguin convention.”
I turn back to the ‘class’, chalk dust covering my hands.
“Any questions so far?
No?
Good, because we’re just getting started.